To usher or not to usher -- that is the question

Several years ago our church membership dwindled such that someone had a great idea (to him or her) -- let's include women on the usher list. When the change was made, I cringed just a bit. Men had always done that job, and that worked fine by me. Maybe some women wanted to be counted as "equal" to men, but for me, that equality was not an issue. God made us -- male and female. OBVIOUSLY -- we are different, so why should I try to do everything a male does, try to think like a male (hahaha) or be like a male. No matter what I might try, God made the difference between male and female obvious at birth. The end.

Therefore, men can be ushers, and if any woman wants that role -- fine, let her do it.

However, the usher list includes my name for the first 2 Sundays in June. Over the last few years with this revised list, I have gotten quite creative in not being "available" those 2 Sundays. I could plan a trip to visit with family -- the easiest is offering to watch grandchildren on Saturday night so parents could go out. Another tactic was offering to preach at neighboring towns -- a particular minister loves when I offer Sundays I am available. One Sunday I even offered to the organist that maybe she wanted a Sunday off -- to which she gladly obliged. One year, I asked a youth in the church if she would fill in for me -- and did so gladly. (Although now that youth is gone with none to fill the gap...) Several years ago, I asked to be taken off the usher list.

The new list had my name.

So the next time I knew the list was being created, I asked (by sending my request to an elder that helped with the list, plus the clerk of session). To no avail. My name still appears on the list.

Did you notice that June starts this week?

What would I do? How do I get out of ushering?

Did you ever have something that just seems to eat away at you?

Several months ago I noticed that I was rather edgy. I thought it from negotiating. Well, negotiations were completed, but the feeling in my tummy just stuck. Then I though it was ending the school term. Term finished, and I still had that yuck in my tummy. Then we enjoyed vacation - potentially that could have me a bit edgy with people gathering together from a variety of distances, all of us pulling together for meals and living space, and just being us as a family. Guess what... the pit is still there.

And I noticed along the way I didn't want to read the Bible anymore. I would, but that eagerness to read became duty. And picking up God's Word, a light of my life, was not really taking place. I would pray, but something about reading....

Today at church the "rest of the story" fell into place. I realized that the next Sunday I was to be designated "usher". What would I do? I just wanted to be able to come to worship, enjoy worship like everyone else... but... I would be an usher.... No excuses... Usher....

Was I hiding from God? Why did I not want to usher? Why am I willing to do most anything in the church -- except usher?

Well, this morning at church I realized that I don't know WHY. I only know that for me, it is something I am not comfortable doing. My pulling away from God's word was a reaction to not understanding an unwillingness to doing something simple in the church. I felt I must be sinning in some way. I must have my priorities all wrong. I must be very selfish that I can't do something assigned.

What is wrong with me?

Where is my love of the Lord?

Am I not faithfully serving Him to the fullest that I can?

When leaving the choir loft, I asked the fellow behind me if he would be willing to substitute for me as usher. I told him I wasn't asking him to trade -- I was asking that he take my place. I told him I'd still be in church, but that I didn't want to usher. I told him a little of my story (as you see above) -- and he said he would be glad to do that for me.

And then he told his wife. And she said, "I have asked that my name be removed from X list here at church, because that is not something I am comfortable with." So... I was not alone in those feelings of not wanting to do something that seems so simple. Others have areas of discomfort also.

And where does this go? What is the spiritual message in the midst?

We are a body of Christ as the church. We each have a gift. We are not the same in purpose within the church. Each of us has SOMETHING -- but that does not mean we all must have the same offering. Romans 12:1-21 (selection) I urge you brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect... For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.... Be devoted to one another in brotherly love, give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality... Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Also, when your burden is heavy, share with a brother or sister in Christ. Don't care that burden alone. This carrying can become heavy such that the relationship with God suffers. Instead, share -- allowing others to minister in the midst. Galatians 6:2, "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ"

And so, for next Sunday, I am not usher. I will simply worship within a congregation, the body of Christ.

In all things, give thanks. (I Thess. 5:18)

Mother Mary

Today in worship young mothers tended their little ones -- whispering in the child's ear, finding toys in the bag, pulling snacks out, holding the hymn book, rocking a babe...

Isn't that what Mary did with her son, Jesus? Care, direction, comfort, and gently guiding through an activity or event comes naturally for a mother.

Proverbs 31 further directs us toward walking righteously as a woman. An excellent wife is a prize to her husband as she maintains a relationship with her husband, remains a good steward, takes physical care of house and household, extends self beyond family, and develops proper attitude and actions in fear of the Lord.

Mary's poem, "the Magnificat," gives insight to her journey with God during her time in waiting for the birth of her babe:

My soul exalts the Lord, and my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.

For He has regard for the humble state of His bondslave;

For behold, from this time on all generations will count be blessed.

For the Mighty One has done great things for me;

And holy is His name.

And His mercy is upon generation after generation toward those who fear Him.

He has done mighty deeds with His arm;

He has scattered those who were proud in thoughts of their heart.

He has brought down rulers from their thrones,

And exalted those who were humble.

He has filled the hungry with good things;

And sent away the rich empty-handed.

He has given help to Israel His servant,

In remembrance of His mercy,

As He spoke to our fathers,

To Abraham and his offspring forever.

Luke 1:46-55

Mary was not focused on the uncomfortableness of pregnancy, but on the majesty of the Lord. Her heart was toward giving praise for His mercies to His people and provision to those in need.

The path does get tiring with little ones pulling a mom in many different directions. A mom might want an escape from the noise and chaos that seems to overwhelm the atmosphere of the "Christian house". Having a moment to self might seem impossible. The reward comes at a later time.

For me, the children are grown and have children of their own. The reward for all the stress and tiredness from the past is in the present. I look and see my son and his family and daughter and her family serving the Lord. Jesus Christ as God's Son, Savior of all, has been passed to new generations.

Did Mary have a clue that her son, Jesus, would one day pass a new message to new generations? Did she know that Jesus, Son of God, came to earth that all might come to know Him?

Did Mary also have hindsight that left her past with a reward coming at a later time? Between the past and the future lay faith in her God - she clung to love, His mercies, and exaltation to Him.

What do you cling to?

Col: 1:16-17

I loved this reading from the lectionary at worship this morning.

May you be made strong will all the strength that comes from His glorious power, and may you be prepared to endure everything with patience, while joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has enabled you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the light. (Col. 1:11-12)

How often do I think something should be completed or solved RIGHT NOW? This spoke to my heart again the reminder to "Be still and know that I am God." (Ps. 46:10)

Hymn: You are before me, Lord

This hymn words are based from Psalm 139. I love the tune as well -- for me it is a prayer to Our Lord.

Note: this work is under copyright, so cannot be taken from here and sold. Used from The Presbyterian Hymnal -- #248.

You are before me, Lord

You are before me, Lord, You are behind.

And over me You have spread out Your hand;

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

Too high to grasp, to great to understand.

Then from Your Spirit where, Lord, shall I go;

And from Your presence where, Lord, shall I fly?

If I ascend to heaven You are there,

and still are with me if in hell I lie.

If I should take my flight into the dawn,

If I should dwell on ocean's farthest shore,

Your mighty hand will rest upon me still,

And Your right hand will guard me evermore.

If I should say, "Let darkness cover me,

And I shall hide within the veil of night,"

Surely the darkness is not dark to You;

The night is as the day, the darkness light.

Search me, O God, search me and know my heart;

Try me, O God, my mind and spirit try;

Keep me from any path that gives You pain,

And lead me in the everlasting way.

Poem from God: My Child

My Child

See the original at http://www.fathersloveletter.com/video.html

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in My image. Genesis 1:27
In Me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28
For you are My offspring. Acts 17:28
I knew you before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, all your days are written in My book. Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know Me. John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your father. 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from My hand. James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts of you are countless as the sand on the seashore. Ps 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40
For you are My treasured possession. Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all My heart and all My soul. Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find Me. Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to My heart. Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father and I love you even as I love My son, Jesus. John 17:23
For in Jesus, My love for you is revealed. John 17:26
He is the exact representation of My being. Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of My love for you. 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of My son Jesus, you receive Me. 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from My love again. Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is - Will you be my child? John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad, Almighty God

New Year

Today is the last day of the year 2009. Where has it gone? What did I enjoy? What would I avoid for future years?

The scripture from Ecclesiastes 3:1-11 comes to mind,
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven --
A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.
A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down, and a time to build up.
A time to week, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones; A time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace, and a time to shun embracing.
A time to search, and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep, and a time to throw away.
A time to tear apart, and a time to sew together; A time to be silent, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate; A time to war, and a time for peace.

What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils?
I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves.
He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end.

Just say, "no"

I praise God for His mercy, His love, His giving me strength when I felt like quitting. Whew... The semester is almost finished. I love my job, don't get me wrong. But this semester was a challenge from the beginning. To best meet the needs of students, I couldn't let any of the classes on the schedule get canceled even though we did not have an instructor for one. So... I took that additional class section.

Well, I shouldn't have.

I had too many hours, so I spent every waking minute checking discussion boards (for two online courses), grading papers, responding to students, preparing for class, plus taking care of other duties that come with the territory.

So what good came from this stressful semester?

I have now added a new word to my vocabulary. It's not a very long word, but it has much meaning. You probably already know just from reading the little to this silly blog posting.

"No."

Sometimes we must step back and realize that the best thing I can do is NOT do something.

Sometimes we just need to stop the rat-race and review what does God want? How can He use me? What direction does He have for me?

I thought of the scripture, "Be still and know that I am God." (Ps. 43:10)

Yeah... be still....

Psalm 43:1-3, 7-11
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, although the earth should change, and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
Thou its water roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride...

The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our stronghold.
Come, behold the works of the Lord, who has wrought desolations in the earth.
He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth; He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two; He burns the chariots with fir.

"Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our stonghold.

And for me to be still, maybe I do need to just say, "no".